If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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