I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Enjoy the penises
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
