Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
