As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
