Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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