Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The feeling are messing with the penis
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
