What did we do last night that was yellow?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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