You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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