I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
