he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
