Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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