is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Randomize
