you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
