i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize