Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i think i have herpe
just one?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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