I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
