OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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