walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
