new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
