Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
