Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
