new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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