The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
