4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
