end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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