Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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