My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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