Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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