how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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