This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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