went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
