How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
