I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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