I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
