Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
