There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So vagazzling was a success
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
