So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
