This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
