And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
