is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We are two peas in an std pod
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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