Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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