I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she told me i tasted like america
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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