i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
