found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize