ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize