is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
