Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
