why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Sorry my hands just texted you
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
