mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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