Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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