toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
