I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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