Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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