i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Verdict: uncircumcised.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
