dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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