You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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