I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
