He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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