look no pants
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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