It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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