I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
