I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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