We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
