come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
