Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
