Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
