went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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