Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
