No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize