i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Someone came in the potted fern
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
