You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
