you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
