Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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