I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
