That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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