He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
