**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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