The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
